There are already too many sad songs about relationships like ours– the almost relationships.
The one where you begged me to stay, all because you wanted to know what it would be like to wake up next to me. To finally, to fucking finally, know what it was like to wake up and still have me– warm, hair everywhere, eyes slowly opening, smiling– in your arms instead of a cold pillow. The one where you answered my texts, made up conversations, did everything to make me laugh because you wanted to fall in love with me, were already falling for me– but– there is always that but.
We didn’t fit together, our edges never quite fit. There was a softness to yours and a raggedness to mine. But goddamn it, we tried. Or at least you did. I was on a mission to see what was the most beautiful way to self-destruct, I was a red kamikaze, a tornado ripping itself apart. Until I saw how hard you were trying.
But it was too late by then, wasn’t it? You loved me once, didn’t you? Would have given up the world just to have me by your side. Would have lied for me. Fought for me. But it wasn’t enough.
